IN LOVE

Today i can say, iam in love, not on a person, but with life, It's just an feeling itself. No iam not spacing etc. I just have the feeling that iam in love, and i love this feeling. it's a feeling i can't describe with words.
Life is not going great, the passed few days were not pretty for me, but hell..

Taste

''The best thing in life, comes when you absorberd it with little sips''

The strangers thing occure to me. I noticed that my taste in likes / dislikes etc has been changed. In the beginning i really didn't liked it at all. But after abosorbing it by bits. I like, liked it more and more. Not only in taste, but also in daily life. Movies, topics, style. Uff, life isn't getting easier like this :S

Just like life has its obstacles and ur just passing it step by step. And at the end of the obstacle u can say. om it wasn't funny, but hell, i learned a lot and have a lot of benefit of it.

or is it just a fase to adulthood (of thats a word).

How fuuny it is? isn't it? How one can totaly transform to an other thinking area. Do you get life. with my 26 yrs now i noticed the differnce of being a 18 yr old 'child' and now being a young women. h'many more surprises do i get, before i discover how to deal with life itself.

We shall see,

Is it worth it....

How can i tell you how much you hurt me, that i don't feel safe near you. People say that one should always feel safe and welcome in their own world. you may travel the whole world, but shall always find your safe haven in your own home. And one can always find comfort i thy arms. But why do i feel so dispair, so lost.

Is it the aura, is it the past? Why is it haunting me? is it my heritage that is calling to me. Why do i care? I am broken, i can't do this anymore. I can't fight against it anymore. Should i give it up and stop fighting it?

Lately i feel very angry, i can't control it anymore, i just want to speak, but i can't because it feels verry self-centered egoistic. Knowing that, what i know. Am i allowed to feel this. To want this. Don't i deserve the affection as everyone else. Or at least the whole truth. Or should i remain silent for the rest of my life. Why do i feel like this. Why can't i just leave it in the past. Why should i feel like someone took something verry special and important from me. Why!, why did you lie to me, and let you let me lie, because of the facade u want to show. Is it worth it? I feel screaming, shouting, trapped but most of all disgraced, ashamed, damaged because you force me to feel that.

Is it worth it.

And this lets me think of a qoute that is saw the otherday. The saddes qoute from the funniest man on earth: I like to walk in the rain, so nobody can see my tears.

remarkable, extrodonary, amazing people

Can you remember a person that made a impression on you. Not someone you know, but one that just pass by.

Today i met someone a elderly sofisticated lady that left a mark. Only by just giving me good advise with a big smile. She was a lovely lady just sincere and calm and she looked happy.
first advise: just be calm, take ur time ur young
second advise: love yourself,
third advise: don't marry (to young) before ur thirty cause being married comes with responsibillities

Just her whole personality made an impression on me. A few weeks before i had a person at my frontoffice and we where just talking about chit chats and i made the joke, thatnhe was just stuck here in the country. He smiled and said seriously: I'll be never stuck. was it the tone of his voice or the comment. but i didn't forgot it. A year before i helped the same person (later the peices just fall in place) and than he gave me the advise that one should always think big. During the year i thought about his advise. funny how people can touch ur life and just dissapear again.

And all this: just by people that are passing by :D

all the Fuss 4 nothing

Today all i wanted was a chill day, i hardly slept and longed for my bed. But all day long at work there were people... oeff how shall i say and not sound that horrible.... People that can try to sound important bussy, that want to talk talk talk about things in stead of act to solve the problem. Common sense is a god gift, pls use it, it meets u half way.

So since a couple of days i just got irritated and irritated. I think my insomnia was also playing a part in it so i tried to be zen.

Difficult to act correctly even if u know that ur right.

Silent tribute

“No time on earth Is long enough to share with those we love or to prepare our hearts for good-bye!”

Adjie i'am gonna miss you. Why do we people always act like we have the time of the world. Or do i see it the wrong way? Knowing that ur not there anymore sore my heart. Knowing that i not only lost my Grandmother, but also my Godmother tears up my heart.

May your soul rest in peace. Hope ur in a better place.

Wees gegroet, Maria, vol van genade.

de Heer is met u.

Gij zijt de gezegende onder de vrouwen,

en gezegend is Jezus, de vrucht van uw schoot.

Heilige Maria, Moeder van God.

Bid voor ons zondaars,

nu en in het uur van onze dood.

Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, The lord is with thee

Blessed art thou among women and blessed

is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners

now and at the hour of our death.

Amen

Stupid me.

oké today i just did something so stupid.

I hate myself for doing that... argh.. I hate this feeling and i can't believe i jut blurpt it out.. oo iam so stupid.. oeff i can kick my ass for doing that...

Ok i got twisted in someone els game.. oeff. the bitter truth...how

ok ok ok i confess even iam human.